Reasons Why Girls Are Not Expected To Be 100% Faithful in a Pre-marital Relationship

Reasons Why Girls Are Not Expected To Be 100% Faithful in a Pre-marital Relationship
Before any marriage, there must be a relationship. In fact, most marriages are products of relationships. Relationships are necessary because it is through it that the parties involve understand each other thereby, deciding whether to tolerate their individual weaknesses.  To some people or groups, relationship is known by the name ‘courtship’. To demonstrate the importance of relationship or courtship, even Churches give intending couples room to go through a period of courtship.

I have pondered on this issue of relationship especially as it relates to our contemporary world where people go in and out of relationships on daily basis. Faithfulness in my opinion is the greatest ingredient required in any relationship. It is expected that the two parties involved in a relationship be faithful to each other. To be faithful in a relationship means to make your partner the only person in your private life at that particular point in time.

In relationship, the ideal thing is for partners to be 100% faithful to each other. But, it’s very unfortunate that many relationships nowadays lack this. Both boys and girls who are in pre-marital relationships today are found to be unfaithful. That your girlfriend/boyfriend who swears to you with both heaven and earth that you were the only one in his/her life is only lying to you. It is extremely difficult for two persons who are yet to be married to be 100 percent faithful. What we witness today in relationships is gambling. It’s on that basis that I seriously pondered on why most of relationships are so and, conclusively arrived at some findings. I discovered from my research that most girls who where faithful in their relationships came out regretting. Some of the factors for their regrets formed the subject of this article. Read them below.


I come to understand that most girls are not faithful with their partners because they are afraid of disappointment. It has been noticed that many guys dump their girlfriends when it comes to marriage. Guys seem to go for other girls whom they suddenly think has better qualities than their present girlfriend thereby, leaving the girls disappointed after waiting patiently for many years. It is a fact that most girls have marriage in mind when dating a guy, but when that expectation is battered the girl faces a possible heartbreak. As a result of that, girls who are usually the victims of relationship breakups deem it fit to have other guys around them who they can fall on incase of a collapse in one of their relationships.

Better Chances

It is normal to believe that one who has her eggs in different baskets has a better plan for risk than one who puts everything in one basket. Girls believe that they stand a better chance of getting married when they date more than one guy. Though girls can be in multiple relationships, they pay more attention to one than the others. It’s believed that they do this to protect themselves and also to enhance their chances of quickly settling down.

Time Factor

If girls were to focus on one partner without having anything to do with other guys, they may run out of time as one unserious guy can deceptively keep them in relationship without finally taking them as wives. Some guys can be wicked, in their heart they knew that they won’t marry you but won’t still let you go. In such circumstance, some girls who hopefully wait for the day he would propose only for the guy to abruptly end the relationship have all the time spent in the relationship wasted. If she were to be 100% faithful, a lot of time would have been wasted without good result.

It is my wish that all the parties involved in a relationship be faithful. There is nothing as good as faithfulness in relationship. Faithfulness can save you a lot of trouble; it can spear you the risk of viral diseases and other things. Therefore, I candidly recommend this pill for all the people in relationships.

Thanks for your time on this blog, always let us know how you feel about our articles by adding your comments. Thanks once more!

Read More

Lets Talk About Love

Lets Talk About Love
To different people, love has different meanings. People define the word love based on their understanding of the topic. Love is a word that is often used in a relationship. In the absence of it, a relationship suffers. The statement, “I love you” is common among humans.

But what exactly is love? Is it just a mere expression of affection, feeling, or sexual lust? We understand that any relationship that is not built on love is like a house whose foundation is built on sand. It suffers loss even at slightest storm.

Many people make the mistake of interpreting their feelings , attractions, affections as love. While those things can fade away, true love cannot. Any relationship built on on all those behaviours is bound to fail at the disappearance of those traits.

What then is true love? For us to understand what a true love is all about, permit me to make a reference to the bible. In John 3:16, the bible says, "For God so love the world that He gave Hid only begotten Son that whosoever believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.  Suffice it to say that for there to be a true love, there must be a giving (sacrifice). even in a relationship, you must have to give away some of your highly esteemed passions in order to grow love between you and your partner. Nobody eats his cake and still have it. There must be a giving away for love to thrive.

Couples should learn how to give up some of their attitudes that does not augur well with their partner. Until that happens, true love can never be manifested. Couples should also learn to tolerate those traits that are impossible to change. That is what true love stands for - sacrifice and tolerance.

Love they say covers multitudes of sins. In order words, love covers multitudes of faults. Humans are full of faults and errors, only love can cover such errors and faults. Lets give love a chance!

I strongly believe you have learnt something from this piece of article. Let me know how it has affected your thought through your comments. Love You!

Read More

Court Marriage and The Alarming Increase in Divorce Rate

Court Marriage and The Alarming Increase in Divorce Rate
So alarming is the rate of divorce in our society nowadays. The number of single parents increases on daily basis. Even so is the rate at which people remarry. Divorce has crept into our society and spreads like a cancerous cell. Marriages have been torn apart by this new development.

At first, divorce was a Western phenomenon. But nowadays, it has affects virtually all race. It is a big societal problem though the proponents see it as a way out. Before now, few were the cases of divorce. But at present, it has become rampant that it now gains social recognition. Divorce has become rampant that one or two cases are reported daily. Like I said earlier, it is a big social problem.

When I ponder on this issue of divorce, it occurs to me that many factors are even encouraging divorce in our society the more. The increasing acceptance of “Court Marriage” seems to be the number one cause. Different countries have their own legislation on divorce. Such legislations seem to be the reason why many intending couples especially the female folks insist on court marriage. For instance, in the United States, women inherit a reasonable portion of men’s property in the event of divorce. The same law applies to many other countries.

On the strength of the above scenario, the beneficiaries of divorce always look for slightest ways of pushing for it. Our world is full of selfish people. People that always like to take advantage of others without any remorse. Divorce and the laws backing it becomes the strength of these categories of people.

In my opinion, church marriage remains the best way to control the menace of divorce. Though it is not all that fear God, but the rate of divorce in our society today will definitely reduce when marriages are done before God. The adoption of court marriages over church promotes the incidence of divorce in our world. This is because a defaulter of a marriage done by the court offends the law while a defaulter of that done by the church offends God.

This article is just a personal opinion and stands to be debated. You can let us know your own opinion by leaving a comment here. Thanks for your time on this blog….
Read More

Coping With a Snoring Spouse

Coping With a Snoring Spouse
Snoring as simple as it sounds can pose a serious problem to the health of a relationship. Nobody would be happy to be waked up in the middle of the night by his/her spouse especially after a busy day.

For sure, sleep is sweet when it is done in a serene environment - quiet place. In the incidence of noise of any form, one cannot enjoy his or her sleep. Sleeping with a snoring spouse can be a disgusting experience. This is because the noise of the snoring spouse can wake the non-snoring spouse up in the night and he/she might find it hard to sleep again.

Snoring is one of the major problem in achieving intimacy between couples, because sleeping together can go a long way in achieving intimacy. But when one of the couples snores, the other finds it irritating to sleep in the same bed, or bedroom. Snoring isn't just a nuisance, says Dr. Adam Moscovitch, Medical Director of the Canadian Sleep Institute, which has offices in Calgary and Toronto.

Unfortunately, snoring is a common problem among humans. Two third of Canadian adults says they have a partner who snores, according to a national survey by Leger Marketing. In the survey, the non-snoring spouse reportd loosing 1-3 hours of sleep a night due to restless sleep.

A dominant tactics people adopts to reduce the impact of partner's snoring include poking, elbowing or kicking the snorer. But if that works at all, it is because the snorer momentarily wakes up. But does that solve the problem? Absolutely no! What then can a non-snoring couple do so as to maintain the same bedroom with his or her spouse?

Though there are many methods of handling this problem, this article will provide only four.
  1. Exercise: Notably, snoring is more common among fat people. To help the snoring spouse loose weight, encourage such a person to do exercise on regular basis. 
  2. Music: The non-snoring couple can adopt sleeping under the sound of music so as to douse the irritating noise from the snore.
  3. Medical Advice: The non-snoring couple can as well encourage his or her spouse to seek medical solution to the problem. Expertise advice can help the snoring couple avoid unconscious practices that encourages snoring.
  4. Separate rooms: This action should be applied after exhausting every other avenues of handling this issue. 
I strongly believe that this article has been helpful to you. I will want you to share your experience(s) and comment. You can also send your personal questions via email.
Read More

Traditional vs Christian Marriage synonymous to Ceasar vs God

Traditional vs Christian Marriage synonymous to Ceasar vs God
It is a common practice especially in Africa to celebrate two marriages. traditional marriage which is usually the first, is organized to fulfill the requirements of the brides' kinsmen. Thereafter, a Christian marriage is witnessed in order to satisfy the demand of the church.

I have pondered on this two categories of marriage, to ascertain why it is necessary to observe both while considering the fact that economic situations of many societies are very unfriendly.

And the question that come to mind includes;can't one be abolished while the other upheld to save the cost of marriage? Proffering solution to the question, I asked myself this question. Which people (Tradition or Church) will allow theirs to be abolished? It then occurred to me that abolishing either can seem impossible, knowing too well that neither of the parties involve will allow their belief to be tampered with no matter the intention.

Looking at it from the Biblical view point, Jesus said: "give to Caesar what belong to Caesar and to God what belong to God. In that case, I thought it wise to allow both to stay. But the questions now are; 
  1. how many people can afford the cost of marriage nowadays?
  2. how many people are still single today as a result of those demands?
These are questions that deserve fair answer. The earlier we answer such questions, the better we save many bachelors who are already overdue for marriage but could not afford the cost. Moreso, the earlier we address those questions the better we save many uncelebrated couples from the shame of illegimate marriage. Marriage to me is honorable and should be encouraged.

NB: This article is just a personal opinion and is not meant to offend anyone. Comments and further opinions are welcomed. Perhaps, a change can be effected on the issue through such views.

Love you!
Read More

Easy and Reliable Ways to Meet Someone New

Easy and Reliable Ways to Meet Someone New
Sometimes, meeting new people can become a herculean task or even frustrating, especially when you are not sure of what to do or how to go about it. Whether you want to start dating or you just want to meet a new friend, there are plenty of options for you to choose from to get the ball rolling on starting a new friendship or relationship. There are many easy steps that you can take to meet someone new. Let us now discuss a number of them below.

1. Hanging Out

Hanging out can some times provide solution to your quest for meeting new friends. Identifying locations of where to meet your kind of person is the first consideration when trying to hang out in order to meet new friends. The location you choose to hang out is dependent on your kind of person and what appeals to you. If you are not meeting the kind of people you have desired to have as friends in the locations you presently hangs out, then you need to locate new places where you can achieve this feet.  A good suggestion is to alsways take a friend along with you so you don't feel lonely. Where you choose to visit a park, club, mall, cinema, or other places, remember to always where a smiling face and introduce yourself to new people.

2. Get your friends to introduce you to their friends

Certainly, everybody have a circle of friends. One of the easiest way to meet trusted people is to meet the friends of your own existing friends. Just always join your friends anytime their are going out to see their friends. Once you meet a new friend who is already a friend to your friend, it becomes very easy to establish bond and and relationship with that fellow. The friendship that they already have with your friend will naturally extend to you. Again, trust is easily built in this kind of scenario.

3. Be friendly with people at work

Official duties has provided an avenue for people to come in contact with others daily in the course of discharging their functions. Work has made it compulsory for people to come together every day either as colleagues or customer/client basis. Being good to people that you come in contact with in the course of performing your official duties can increase your friends list. Office and work is a great way to meet new friends, therefore, utilize it very well.

4. Consider joining a club or starting a hobby. 

Social activities such as clubs and hobbies are a great and sure way to meeting new friends. Church groups, hobby groups, and other associations are all places where people with common interests as you converge. This kind of groups provides a huge avenue to meet new friends. Taking a decision to join one today will help you grow your friend list in a very short period.

5. Online community

Online community is another world of its own. Millions of people are now embracing the use of internet to meet new friends and as well consolidate on the existing ones. there are a number of websites that specialize in bringing people together for dating and other form of relationships. Sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Instagram, and host of others has been able to hook up millions of people who never know themselves. But serious caution should be applied in the use of social media to meet new friends because many unscrupulous people are taking advantage of this to defraud unsuspecting users.I recommend you don't easily trust people you meet on online dating platforms.

6. Volunteerism

You ca also meet new friends when you volunteer to help in community developments and other societal course. Volunteering for humanitarian services, raising fund for charity and projects, or any other community activity can provide you an ample opportunity to meet new friends who share the same passion as you. You will not just meet new pew people but will be helping out your community and the world at large.

In conclusion, it is advisable to rake it slow and easy when meeting new people. In as much as it is tempting to get involved in new relationships, remember that there will be enough time to build upon the relationship. Therefore, take time to build lasting and enduring relationships. Rushing into it may lead to regrets.

Read More

Signs Your Wife Is Cheating on You

Signs Your Wife Is Cheating on You

Faithfulness is a desirable feature of any relationship. But sometimes, infidelity irresistibly creeps into relationships. If something about your wife's recent behavior gives you course for suspicions and your instincts tells you that there might be another guy in her life, you should do a little investigating first to verify that your suspicions are correct before confronting her about it. The following are a few of the most common signs that could be indicative of a cheating wife.

Sign 1: Changes in Her Social Patterns

Observe the changes in the way she treats people who care about you. When your wife begins to distance herself from your side of the family or from friends of yours whom she once got along with, it could signify a sign of guilt. If your wife gets along with your family and friends, she will understand that more people will be hurt by the affair than just you. This will make her feel guiltier, so she might avoid the situation as often as possible. Cheating wives can also be worried that your friends and family will be able to tell that something is happening even if you do not pick up on the clues.

Take note of how often she goes out with "the girls." Once she suddenly starts spending considerably more time running with social circles that don't include you, this could be another sign  sign she is cheating on you. Even though she may claim to be hanging out with her female friends, this might not actually be the case. Beware that an occasional girls-night-out can be both normal and healthy, so you do not need to worry if these nights are fairly infrequent. This becomes a major concern if your wife puts these nights above her relationship with you, if her story changes about who she goes with and where she goes, or if you are unable to get in touch with your wife while she's out.  Even if your wife is genuinely meeting with other female friends, there is some chance that she is using them as emotional support and confiding to them about personal issues she may not talk to you about. This might not be a sign that she's cheating, but it is a sign that there are problems in your marriage.

Listen carefully if she starts talking about a new friend. Women generally feel a stronger need to talk about new and exciting things happening in their lives, even if they need to keep the news a secret. If she starts talking about a new friend, that new friend might be more to her than she intends to let on.  Keep in mind that your wife might give you a fake name to throw you off. If she talks a lot about her new friend "Samantha," she might actually be describing her new friend "Samuel," and providing you with a woman's name just to avoid raising your suspicions.

Determine if there are any changes in her drinking or smoking habits. If your wife frequently drank or smoke, then you might not notice much of any change. If she never had any interest in alcohol and cigarettes before, however, and suddenly begins smelling of either one, she might have a partner in crime who taught her those new habits. Even if your wife does indulge in the occasional drink, pay attention to when you smell alcohol on her. If you smell it after she came back from what should have been a late night at the office, or smell it on her at odd times like the middle of the afternoon, there could be a problem.

5.  Pay attention to how often she works or goes on business trips. Your wife might claim to be spending more time at work, but if she was never much of a workaholic before, this change could indicate that she's spending those extra hours outside of the office after all. Any excessive amount of time she spends away could be bad newmanifest whexample, if a trip to the bank, grocery store, or hair salon takes twice as long as it used to, she might be doing something other than what she claims to be doing.

Look at how much money she spends when she is out. Take a discreet peek at your wife's receipts and credit card statements. A dramatic increase in the amount of money she spends could suggest that she's been spending her money on someone new. To the same end, consider checking her car mileage. If you notice that she is driving more miles than she should if she were going to the places she claims to be going to, then she might be driving out to see someone she should not be seeing.

Sign 2: Changes in Her Behavior at Home

One of the changes that easily manifest when your wife start to cheat on you is her behavior towards you.  Watch for a change in her affections toward you. You need to get worried when your wife suddenly distances herself from you, and if she suddenly becomes inexplicably more affectionate toward you, that could be just as bad a sign. A cheating wife can begin to pay more attention to you as a way to ease her guilty conscience. If she devotes more attention to you when the two of you are together, it can momentarily make her feel better about what she does when you aren't around.

Pay attention to her phone habits. This can be a bit tricky, since many women naturally spend a lot of time on the phone. When your wife suddenly spends more time talking or texting, and if she hangs up as soon as you enter the room, these habits could suggest that she's talking to someone new in her life whom she does not want you to know about.

You cantryy asking her about the phone calls she receives, especially if she leaves the room to take them or quickly hangs up when you walk in. AscertainYouether or not her response seems truthful or if she is trying to make an excuse for who was on the other end of the line. You should also pay attention to other changes in her calling habits, taking note of the frequency of calls, time of day, and tone of voice she uses.

When your wife suddenly starts seeing nothing good in what you do, it is a sign of problems in your relationship, even when is not cheating on you. On the other hand, it could also be a bad sign if your wife "nags" at you less. If you have given your wife good reason to stop nagging by improving the traits she often criticized you for or by being more attentive, less nagging can be great. If you have not changed your behavior, though, and she becomes less critical of you, it could be a sign that she has become indifferent toward you, which could mean that she's getting emotional fulfillment from another source.

Also, consider any changes in her sexual behavior. You might expect your wife to show less interest in you sexually if she starts cheating on you. While this can be the case in some instances, just as often, wives will seem more interested in sex than before. Wanting more sex can be your wife's way of alleviating the guilt she has for cheating on you. In some cases where your wife wants more sex, it could also be a sign that she is having an emotional affair and using you to satisfy her sexual desire for a man she cannot have in bed. On the other hand, if you had a healthy enough sex life before and the flames suddenly die out between you, it could indicate that she is fulfilling her sexual desires with someone else.

Another way to know if your wife is cheating on you is by eye contact. On instinct, humans avoid eye contact with others when they feel guilty or when they have a secret to hide. Try to make eye contact with your wife regulary. If she is cheating, there is a good chance that she will turn away more often than not. This is especially important when you ask her about where she has been, who she's been with, and what she has been doing. Since she will need to come right out and lie to you if she does not want to admit to cheating, she will find it much harder to look you in the eye than she normally would. Note how much time she spends on the computer. Nowadays, the computer is used as a means of communication just as often as the phone is. If your wife spends more of her evenings on the computer and becomes defensive when you ask about it, she might be sending emails or communicating via social media with someone she hopes you won't find out about. You can also peep into your wife's Internet history when she is not around to see. If her history has been erased, consider that to be red flag and a sign that there was something there she did not want you to see.

Consider evasive behavior as a bad sign. As a general rule, if your wife suddenly begins sharing fewer details about her day and her thoughts, she might be hiding something or getting the emotional support she needs from another source. Women are rarely secretive unless they have a good reason to be. They are generally more inclined to open up about their thoughts and feelings than men are, and while husbands may hold back in an effort to avoid what they perceive as "nagging," wives rarely demonstrate the same behavior.

Sign 3: Changes in Her Grooming Habits

Note a change in her appearance. The longer a couple stays married, the more both spouses tend to let themselves go. If your wife suddenly dyes her hair and spruces herself up, she might be trying to make herself look good for someone new. Women usually try to look their possible bests at the start of a new relationship, so if your wife is suddenly making considerably more effort in terms of her appearance, it stands to reason that there might be a new relationship in her life. However, note that there are chances that she could be doing this for your benefit. If she notices lack of intimacy between the two of you and wants to remedy the problem, she might try to make herself seem more appealing to you.

Check out her shopping recent activities. Take a good look at what she brings home in her shopping bags. If she buys new clothes in excess, she might be trying to show them off to someone—especially if those clothes are revealing or if she buys more lingerie. A big sign can be if your wife is buying sexy lingerie but not wearing them in your bedroom, or if she is buying attractive clothes but never wearing them in front of you.

Pay attention if she starts working out at the gym. If your wife takes a sudden interest in shaping up even though she never showed much desire to do so before, she might be trying to make her body look more appealing to a new guy in her life. Understand, of course, that this is not necessarily a dead giveaway. She might genuinely be trying to get herself in shape for valid reasons, especially if her doctor has recently informed her about possible health risks, if a favorite dress no longer fits, or if the new year just started and working out is on her list of resolutions. Take note of how often she showers "at the gym." If you rarely see her shower at home anymore and she frequently claims to have showered at the gym, there is some chance that she might be showering at another guy's place and using the gym shower as a cover. A cheating wife will often shower before she greets you at home to cover the scent of the other man.

Lastly, inhale her scent. Most spouses get accustomed to the way their counterparts smell. If your wife smells “off” or like a brand of men's cologne you do not use, she might be in close contact with another man*Do not accuse your wife of having an affair without confirming your suspicions first. If your wife is not cheating on you and you accuse her of doing so, you might end up causing problems between the two of you that never existed before.
Read More

The 3Ps of Marriage

The 3Ps of Marriage

Just as in marketing where we have 4Ps, so it is also in marriage. There are 3Ps of marriage which if well observed will enhance peace and harmony in the relationship between couples. Marriage as an institution brings two different individuals together. The togetherness of these individuals can only be possible if effective communication skills are built. That is where 3Ps of marriage comes into play. 

The 3Ps of marriage is like a model that should be keenly acknowledged to foster quality relationship and understanding among couples. It will always bridge the communication gap that might be occasioned by its absence. Communication remains an effective tool to grow intimacy. Now, what are those 3Ps of marriage all about? They are all centered on activities that can help understanding and intimacy. They are: plan together, play together, and pray together. Now, let us take time to elaborate on each of them.

Plan together: Planning is one activity that often comes up in the life of everybody. People often have needs to plan their career, retirement, vacation, meetings, and so on. The same thing is applicable in marriage. Couples also do have such needs. Since marriage makes two separate entities to become one, there is need for them to always recognize themselves as one and plan together. Husbands must have to carry their wives along when undertaking any planning, wives should respond as well. Any family that plans together enjoys the feeling of sense of belonging. But when husbands and wives plan separately, one of them feels shortchanged or sidelined. For perfect peace and harmony to reign at home, couples must see themselves as inseparable entities and plan together.

Play together: All works and no play make Jack a dull boy says a popular adage. Couples should pinpoint their areas of common interest in social activities so as to convert them to veritable ground for their stronger relationship. Watching TV together can spice up a relationship. Exercise can also be a good option. It is ideal that husbands and wives should carve out time from their busy schedules to have fun with each other. They should identify those things they have in common and spend time together on such activities. Most of couples prefer playing with their friends, inasmuch as it is not bad, they should also try spending quality time with their partners during their leisure time.

Pray together: there is this popular saying that a family that prays together stays together. I have really thought on this and discovered that it is a true talk. Prayer is a medium through which we communicate the desires of our heart to God. When families pray together, they communicate their desires to God in unity. Pray builds a spiritual bond between couples. And since it is true that the spiritual controls the physical, the bond holds together their physical relationship. Also, a family that develops the culture of praying together on daily basis will always resolve any minor problem that arises among them before it metamorphoses to more serious one. This is true because it will become impossible for them to pray together when there are grudges between them. The resultant effect will be to immediately resolve their differences. We therefore encourage husbands and wives, and families in general to develop the culture of praying together on daily basis.

Read More

Why Married People Are Happier

Why Married People Are Happier

According to Daniel Gilbert, PhD, best-selling author and Harvard psychology researcher , he said than when he was growing up, his mom urged him to aspire for three things in life — finding someone nice and getting married; building a fulfilling, well-paid career; and above all, having children.
This is because of the fact that married people are better off than single or divorced people. The better the marriage, the stronger the “marriage effect” on physical and mental health, longevity and prosperity.

Some years ago, Horold Morowitz of Yale observed that divorce is as hazardous to a man’s health as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. The thing applies to women folks. Studies have shown that unmarried women are 50 percent more likely to die in any year than are married women and unmarried men are five times likely to die in any given year than married men at any age.

Being unmarried can shorten a man’s life by ten full years. Marriage is a major public issue, because its absence shortens people’s lives. it likely unmarried people are sick more often, stay longer in the hospital than married people with similar problems, and are two and half times more likely to end in a nursing home.

Again, unmarried people are even several times more likely to get common cold than are married people. That becomes possible because unhappiness weakens the immune system. Scientists have shown that these health advantages are not merely accidental. Studies constantly show that marriage itself improves people’s health. Sick people who are married got healthier faster.

Therefore, it would not be wrong to say that married people are happier than unmarried ones. Perhaps because the single best predictor of human happiness is the quality of social relationships. “Marriage seems to buy you a decade or more of happiness,” said Gilbert.

And people in unhappy marriages experience a spike in happiness once the marriage is dissolved, Gilbert continued. Using a sampling application that contacts people via their iPhone, one of Gilbert’s graduate students has found that people are happiest when they’re having sex and talking, or otherwise investing in social relationships. Resting and relaxing don’t just bring happiness because when you’re not engaged in a task — even if is an unpleasant one — your mind wanders, and you may likely ruminate on unhappy experiences.

According to Marsha Lucas, Ph.D., a psychologist in Washington, D.C, happiness in a marriage might not always seem as exciting as when you first meet your wife.  Th is because, as research proves, many people have a baseline level of happiness they tend to return to after a positive life event.

“During early romance, we’re getting all kinds of great, pleasurable experiences that are giving us a bit of a hit of dopamine, stimulating the brain areas involved with reward—even euphoria—as well as the motivation to seek out and return over and over to that same source to get some more,” she says. “After you’re married and the thrill has settled, those big, constant hits of dopa-mine taper off, and like coming down from a high, it can feel like a huge letdown.”

Read More