Why Married People Are Happier

Why Married People Are Happier

According to Daniel Gilbert, PhD, best-selling author and Harvard psychology researcher , he said than when he was growing up, his mom urged him to aspire for three things in life — finding someone nice and getting married; building a fulfilling, well-paid career; and above all, having children.
 
This is because of the fact that married people are better off than single or divorced people. The better the marriage, the stronger the “marriage effect” on physical and mental health, longevity and prosperity.

Some years ago, Horold Morowitz of Yale observed that divorce is as hazardous to a man’s health as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. The thing applies to women folks. Studies have shown that unmarried women are 50 percent more likely to die in any year than are married women and unmarried men are five times likely to die in any given year than married men at any age.

Being unmarried can shorten a man’s life by ten full years. Marriage is a major public issue, because its absence shortens people’s lives. it likely unmarried people are sick more often, stay longer in the hospital than married people with similar problems, and are two and half times more likely to end in a nursing home.

Again, unmarried people are even several times more likely to get common cold than are married people. That becomes possible because unhappiness weakens the immune system. Scientists have shown that these health advantages are not merely accidental. Studies constantly show that marriage itself improves people’s health. Sick people who are married got healthier faster.

Therefore, it would not be wrong to say that married people are happier than unmarried ones. Perhaps because the single best predictor of human happiness is the quality of social relationships. “Marriage seems to buy you a decade or more of happiness,” said Gilbert.

And people in unhappy marriages experience a spike in happiness once the marriage is dissolved, Gilbert continued. Using a sampling application that contacts people via their iPhone, one of Gilbert’s graduate students has found that people are happiest when they’re having sex and talking, or otherwise investing in social relationships. Resting and relaxing don’t just bring happiness because when you’re not engaged in a task — even if is an unpleasant one — your mind wanders, and you may likely ruminate on unhappy experiences.

According to Marsha Lucas, Ph.D., a psychologist in Washington, D.C, happiness in a marriage might not always seem as exciting as when you first meet your wife.  Th is because, as research proves, many people have a baseline level of happiness they tend to return to after a positive life event.

“During early romance, we’re getting all kinds of great, pleasurable experiences that are giving us a bit of a hit of dopamine, stimulating the brain areas involved with reward—even euphoria—as well as the motivation to seek out and return over and over to that same source to get some more,” she says. “After you’re married and the thrill has settled, those big, constant hits of dopa-mine taper off, and like coming down from a high, it can feel like a huge letdown.”

Read More

Enhancing Communication Between Couples Through Listening Skills

Enhancing Communication Between Couples Through Listening Skills

About one in two marriages ends in a divorce these days. We are all too familiar with the various problems that can lead to a breakup. Arguments can begin at sunrise and not stop until after sunset. This kind of fragile relationship is like a time bomb ready to explode at any time. Some couples may keep it all inside to avoid the confrontation, but that doesn’t make the relationship any healthier. Either way, it is a no-win situation. The romance and dreams these couples once built together vanish into obscurity.

Good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. Many marriages could be saved if spouses improved the ways they communicate with each other. But how can they improve those skills without first understanding what they are? Communication is an art; it is a skill that needs to be learnt. 

The first step in enhancing communication between husbands and wives is to first understand why people behave the way they do. The reasons for this are enshrined in a number of factors. These factors centre on childhood backgrounds and environment.  

As children, we go through experiences, good and bad, that ultimately affect how we communicate in the future. If, for example, you grew up in a household with an angry parent that everyone constantly tried to avoid or soothe, you will likely carry this attitude into adulthood and when confrontation arises, whether real or perceived, you will either try to calm the situation or run from it. If your spouse says something you perceive to be heated, you will immediately revert back to this childhood memory and in turn, face your mate with your learned response. You will probably do whatever you can to avoid the subject and if your spouse, for instance, comes from a family where everyone accepts anger as a simple outpouring of emotion and nothing more, then the two of you may clash making resolution of issues a regular challenge.

Good understating of the reason illustrated above will motivate you to acquire good communication skills. And what exactly are these skills? They can be summed up in one word – listening skill. As we know that the essence of communication is to be understood, we should also bear in mind that communication is a two way process. The much you want to be understood, is the same way the other person wants to be understood too. 

For a balance to be stroke, couples must learn how, and when to listen to each other. We must not always try to empty our inside (hurt, displeasure, feelings etc). We should also recognize that the party has something to say. Ignoring this fact would amount to selfishness. Selfishness can stab a marriage badly. For husbands and wives to listen effectively, they would need to cultivate listening skills. 

Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. Listening is key to all effective communication, without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood – communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily becomes frustrated or irritated. The following are techniques that can help us listen attentively.

  • ·         Stop talking, just listen
  • ·         Prepare yourself to listen – relax, focus on the speaker and put other things out of mind
  • ·         Put the speaker at ease – help him to feel free to speak
  • ·         Remove distractions – focus on what is being said: don’t doodle, shuffle papers, look out the window, pick your fingernails or similar
  • ·         Empathize – try to understand the other person’s point of view
  • ·         Be patient
  • ·         Wait and watch for non-verbal communications – body languages.
Read More

Shocking Reason Why Women Prefer Tall men In Relationships

Shocking Reason Why Women Prefer Tall men In Relationships

When it comes to marriage, women usually have ideal qualities they look for in men. These qualities range from height, complexion, attitude, religious affiliations, family background, social status etc. while some women prefer fair men; others may feel more comfortable with darn ones. Religion is another factor that women consider when planning to settle with a man. The dominant considerations in religion are between Muslin and Christianity. When it comes to Christianity, denominations play its own role. Family background and social status such as how rich the man is can also influence a woman’s choice of a man.

This article from henceforth, will be giving special attention to height. Height can be broadly categorized into three – short, average, and tall. Of these three, women seem to prefer being with tall men when it comes to relationships and marriage. The reason for that is not farfetched, but can also be peculiar to different women. While some women feel more comfortable with tall men for the sake of protection and security, others prefer them for procreation purposes. It is a common believe that gene make-up of parents plays a significant role in their offspring personality traits. More common is the fact that tall and huge men are more physically fit to defend their women.

However, the above two reasons don’t seem to be the main reason why women prefer marrying tall men. My vast experience with women gave me a conviction that there are more to protection and procreation reasons. This led me to run a survey on few women who were married to tall men. Shocking and unbelievable was my findings. Do you want to hear what that was? I am going to tell you in a second.

Okay, let’s go there! Their reasons were all centering on the same thing. It is simply for sexual satisfaction. One of the interviewees told me that she prefers tall men because they usually have big and longer penis. Hmm I muttered! She further said that such men are more satisfying in bed than others. And my question is, could that be true, and how proven is this claim? 

I will like to hear from you my reader. Tell me what you think about this, whether it is true or not. I expect comments more especially from women folks whom I believe are in better position to know better.
Read More

How Sex Can Help Sustain Intimacy in Marriage

How Sex Can Help Sustain Intimacy in Marriage
Sex is a wonderful experience, it is an experience that most people lack words to express. It takes you to another world altogether - a world of fun, excitement, and pleasure. Sex can make you forget your worries and be launched into relaxed mood. Apart from the three basic needs of man (food, clothing and shelter), sex is another basic need of man that cannot be neglected. But worth of note is that sex is approved by the Creator of the universe for only married people. Any sex outside marriage will be disobedience to our God. Singles beware! 

Marriage as a union between man and woman depends on a number of factors to work. Part of that factors is sexual intercourse. Sex can determine how intimate marriage would be. It can help to sustain intimacy in marriage. This is because boyh partners crave for and cherish it. Any marriage that does not take time to satisfy each partners' sexual life would not thrive. But some couples still don't know this secret. 

 Couples get closer to each other when they are enjoying each other in bed. This is because sex is like a soul tie. It is a kind of joining your souls together. I have come to discovet that more intimacy exist among couples who have slept together than those who have not. Even conflicts can be resolved during sex. That is why talking during sex is encouraged. Raise issues burging your marriage before or during sexual intercourse. It works like magic. 

Couples should not get too busy to satisfy their sexual urge. I have seen couples who allow their work to rob their sexual life. Many couples feel very tired after work to make love. You find out that marriage begin to suffer when one partner is in dare need for sex and the other feels adamant. The truth is that, if you fail to satisfy your partner, he/she would sought for an alternative means to get it. The consequences of that i need not to tell you. 

Under no circumstances should couples starve each other of sex. If the need be, it must have to be a cogent one. So, we suggest that couples make their partners feel sexy to attract their attention to bed, thereby strengthening the chances of their intimacy. So after reading this article, go and seduce that your partner to make love to you tonight. Maybe, that will have an effect on your present soured relationship.

 GOODLUCK!
Read More

Honesty and Trust: A Glue that Holds Marriage Together

Honesty and Trust: A Glue that Holds Marriage Together
Honesty and trust are key variables to a successful marriage. Nobody wants to live wth a liar. Neither does anybody want to be around an untrust worthy fellow. Everybody will feel save to stay around someone who can be held by his/her word. Not the person who will say one thing here and found doing another thing there altogether. 

Honesty and trust play a vital role in the life of any relationship. In marriage, it is required that couples be open to each other let your spouse know your in and out as well as your whereabouts. Being open to your spouse would make you gain his/her trust. But if otherwise, suspicions would be the other of the day. 

Couples have been found to be dishonest in their dealings in recent times. A man who lies to his wife in every occassions losses her trust thus, putting the marriage at risk. Same is applicable with a woman. In other for there to be trust in marriage, honesty must have to be there. Trust on the other hand saves unnecessary suspicions. 

Couples must cultivate the habit of trusting each other. Unnecessary suspicions puts marriage in danger of seperation. It is common of people who hires spies on their partner. Though it is not outrightly wrong, it could lead to a breakdown in marriage. 

Once it is established that your spouse is an honest fellow, the need to trust him/her arises. This is because when your notices your lack of trust, a doubt on whether to continue to please you will definitely spring up. 

Inasmuch as there is need to trust your partner, there is also need to keep a close eye on him/her so as not to be taken advantage of.
Read More